So the cheerful thing didn’t last. The meeting went as well as such a meeting could be expected to and I thought I could come back and do it.

Tuesday I only taught two hours and they should have been easy lesons to teach, but no. I came away from them feeling like I’d just run a marathon and wanting to cry. And I had a massive acute relapse of vasculitis all afternoon and couldn’t work.

The result of this is that I have decided to quit teaching - I was struggling too much and although I could potentially have struggled through the return of the vasculitis has pretty much eliminated that. I’m stuck in a vicious cycle where I can either work hard enough to pass the programme or I can relax enough to keep the vasculitis under control.

At the momnt I’m somewhat aprehensive as I have a meeting in an hour and a half in which I shall be letting the school know that this is my intention. I have already informed TeachFirst that I am leaving and have taken some advice from them on the best way to proceed.

While this is obviously not the outcome that anyone wanted I am at least feeling slightly relieved that I have actually managed to get up the courage to make the decision and not to simply ignore it until I get sacked.