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Questions should be simple ways of gaining information. They should have a “right” and “wrong” answer.
In truth questions represent a “possibility matrix”. By asking the wrong question or in the wrong way we actually communicate a lot more information than we gain.
If we have an unknown we first have to establish if we really want to know the answer. We weigh up the pros and cons of askign the question, we spend ages working out the best way to ask the question.
And then when it comes down to it we realise that, no matter how much we might want to know the answer, if we care at all for the person concerned we can never actually ask them the question.
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But you don’t even know the question.
How’s that for a deeper level of meaning you hadn’t even considered?
You’ll get an answer, but it will be subject to the communication skills of the person who answers, and your own interpretation, just as the question was subject to your communication skills, and the interpretation of whoever you were asking. With so many processes so full of problems, how is anyone to communicate anything through words?
This is difficult. Ouch. But you love me for playing Devil’s Advocate and I’d be doing both you and our friendship a disservice if I wasn’t - but maybe I’m not the person to ask.
You will do the right thing.
Comment by Despina — 1 May, 2008 @ 11:25 pm
Sometimes it’s just best to put all the over-thought to one side and just ask - even if the question comes out wrong or you regret asking it afterwards, life is too short to stumble around in the dark.
Comment by Kelly — 3 May, 2008 @ 6:16 pm