Well I’m sitting here at qurster to nine, feeling completely shattered and unhappy.

The most perverse thing is that the reason I am feeling that way? Nothing. Complete nothing.

I need to find something to fill the gaps. I’m operating mostly on autopilot at the moment. Eat-work-eat-bed, I know that I need this period to get myself straight and financially stable again, and I’m building to get somewhere I want to be, it just hurts so much being where I am at the moment, remembering where I was and looking to where I want to be.

But nothing begets nothing and the longer I sit around with nothing to do, the more I feel like doing nothing. Still I get a holiday next week and I can’t wait to get away with friends again